You think you have what it takes to become a Clamper?
We doubt it. Most average people, like yourself, are never allowed to join our sacred organization. As of CY6029, just 0.013% of the entire population can call themselves Clampers. In other words, we barely let anyone in. And in your case, being a low IQ individual, there's no way you'll make it. So save us all a bunch of time and go back to your safe space where society can be spared of your vapid existence.
Oh, you're still interested in becoming a Clamper?
There is only one way to join our exclusive brotherhood. You need to be Invited (and Sponsored) by a Clamper.
If you're lucky enough to befriend a Clamper and be invited into our sacred brotherhood, you will Only be told "when & where" to be at a specific time & date by your sponsor. You are to follow your sponsors exact instructions. Zero mistakes. This is serious shit!
The prime requisites to becoming a Clamper are a good sense of humor, an interest in Western history, an open mind, and a cast iron stomach. If a man has those qualities, and strikes up a friendship with a Clamper or two, he may find himself taken into (and by) the Ancient and Honorable Order. But one can't simply walk up and say, "Can I be a Clamper?" It is for the Brethren of ECV to invite prospective members to join. And if a man is asked, he should know that the invitation is only given once. If it is refused, it is never tendered again. But a man of any intelligence and character so invited would hardly be likely to turn down such a signal honor.
And remember, as the Brethren of E Clampus Vitus maintain, Clampers are not made, they're born. Like gold, they just have to be discovered.
